The Blame Game

   As you will remember from my last post, the dog at our current abode is somewhat of a challenge. Just a couple of days ago I had to, for the third time in ten days, restrain him from killing a fellow canine that had the misfortune of coming within earshot. This time it was the other dog's owner who was entirely to blame, letting his pet wander the streets unleashed. With Magnum, "unleashed" translates to "dinner".

  Although his behaviour is inexcusable from a dog-training perspective we were made aware that he might be a challenge when we accepted the assignment. Why did we accept it? The dates and location were ideal and far outweighed any concerns we had about the dog. We like to blame the owner for not properly socializing Magnum but we happily accepted the responsibility when we agreed to stay here.

  I'm focused on "blame" today as it seems to be the central focus in all our lives these days and I want to know how we got here. Think about it. While you do that I'll continue.

  Yesterday Penny and I went to dinner with friends. While we were driving I spotted a badge on a Mazda declaring it had "Skyactiv Technology". Some kind of earth-shattering thing only Mazda was capable of engineering, right? Look it up. I'll wait...

  Your Google search likely told you that brilliant Mazda engineers employ this technology to increase engine output while lowering emissions and increasing fuel economy. This concept is so revolutionary that the company trademarked it and plastered it on their products. Of course, no one else does this, right? Oh.

  Since the 1970's the EPA has mandated all car manufacturers who sell in the U.S. to lower emissions and raise fuel economy with ever-increasingly stringent standards. Also, since the 1990's all car manufacturers have striven to significantly increase engine output to compensate for the reduction in horsepower which results from lowering emissions and increasing fuel economy.

  The short story here is Mazda isn't doing anything different than every other car manufacturer in the world. They just thought it would give them a marketing edge by making it appear they were doing something magical and wonderful. They're doing what every business needs to do in order to be successful, that is, creating a perception that their product is better than their competition.

  All auto companies are using similar technology to accomplish the same goals as Mazda but they're not advertising it. It would be like saying "our car has four wheels". Are people buying Mazdas because of Skyactiv Technology? I hope not, but I suspect the answer is a resounding "yes". Who's to blame for this? It's not Mazda.

  Speaking of cars, Ontario's smiling Premier, Doug Ford, this week announced his intention to build a tunnel under the entire city, from east to west, to resolve the gridlock issue. What a great idea! The next day a knowledgeable engineer did a cost analysis and said it would require about $55 billion to accomplish this Herculean task.

  Let's remember it would be the government building this so, using virtually every other capital project as an example, we can assume the price will be closer to $100 billion by the time it's done. But there's more. How long will it take to tunnel about eighty kilometers under a thriving, gridlocked city? Ten years? Twenty? I'm going to go with twenty-five, knowing full well it will be at least thirty. Thirty years of construction, exacerbating the current traffic nightmare in the name of progress. If you think I'm out of line just Google "big dig Boston".

  Did Dougie actually ask anyone if this was a good idea or did he dream it up as a pre-election cookie to throw at the electorate since his $225 million beer-in-corner-stores gambit landed with a thud? Is adding another ten lanes of underground traffic going to solve our problem? Hardly. Give me $100 billion and I'll give you ten other proposals and all of them will make more sense.

  For example, you could buy 50 billion cheeseburgers at McDonalds. That's about seven for every person on the planet. Now, no one thinks babies should be eating cheeseburgers and let's assume there's a billion babies. More cheeseburgers for the rest of us! Thanks Doug!

  But seriously folks, what about trains and ferries? What about re-purposing the underutilized toll road that already exists? What about flying Google cars? What about molecular transporters like Star Trek? I threw those last two in because they'll likely be available long before this tunnel is finished.

  Who's to blame for this idiocy? Not Ford, that's for sure. He's only Dougie being Dougie. Advertising helped people decide to vote for him. He was Skyactiv. The electorate allowed itself to be conned and continues to do so.

  Governments exist to do the things for their people that those people can't do for themselves. People that think they can run the government become politicians. Maybe their motives are altruistic or maybe they're just power-hungry but they put themselves out there, ostensibly, as part of the solution. That's huge. Somebody has to do it and these people are volunteering. Good on ya. Really. We should applaud them and give them our support because it's a dirty job and someone has to do it.

  Oh wait. In order to win elections we want them to tell us why they're better than their opponents and we believe them, even though we just know our problems can't be solved as easily as they make it sound. They Skyactiv us. Bastards.

  There's an election coming up in the U.S. in five weeks and a significant portion of the electorate thinks a lying, misogynistic, incoherent con man and felon is the best choice to be the Leader Of The Free World. He lost the 2020 election to Joe Biden, who has overseen a successful  economic recovery on the heels of a once in a hundred years pandemic that shuttered the world for most of a year. Biden's reward: Let's Go Brandon. If you don't know what that means, ask Google. Americans think the economy is the biggest issue when, in reality, it's ignorance.

  Canada will go to the polls sometime in the next year. It looks like the incumbent Liberals will be shellacked by the redneck Conservatives. I say "redneck" because this isn't the Progressive Conservative party of yore. It might as well be called Republicans North as they use the same tactics and spew the same vitriol as Mr. Trump's cronies. Mr. Poilievre might as well change his name to Mini Me.

  For the past nine years we've had Justin Trudeau, who's heart seems to be in the right place but isn't very effective at actually accomplishing things. I guess that's supposed to justify the F**k Trudeau signs brandished on diesel smoke-billowing pickup trucks driven by those selfsame rednecks complaining about freedom. Freedom to do what? I want to see those imbeciles try that in China, or North Korea, or Hungary, or Russia, or any number of countries where people don't have the freedom to express their opinions freely. Let's Go Brandon... north.

  What's Trudeau's biggest sin, according to Mini Me? The carbon tax. "Axe The Tax" is the rallying cry. Except. Why is there a carbon tax? First, we're not alone. Many countries have started adding tariffs to imported products originating in countries who don't have carbon taxes. That means our products would become less competitive and reduce our exports.

  Economists, who know a lot more about this stuff than your average voter, say carbon taxes are the most effective way to change buying decisions. The additional cost attached to high carbon footprint products encourages people to buy less ecologically damaging products. Electric cars rather than gasoline-powered. Heat pumps instead of oil furnaces. Like that. But wait. The feds give us all a rebate at the end of the year that returns most of what the average consumer spent on the tax. The difference is minimal and not worth complaining about... or is it?

  The carbon tax is compounded. Every step of the manufacturing process pays it. Farmers have to buy fuel and fertilizer. Products have to be transported through manufacturing and  distribution chains and then to retailers. I could go on but the point is we end up paying so much more than the rebate we receive.

  It shows up in everything we buy, especially groceries. People blame greedy corporations for high grocery prices. Canadians have been complaining that they're being ripped off by Loblaws because they're making obscene profits. No they're not. Supermarket chains only earn 2-3% net profit. Check the financial reports for all the major grocery chains in 2019 and 2023 and you'll see it's consistent. Loblaws makes more money because they have more outlets. It's the same percentage of a much larger number than their competitors. Then why are prices so much higher than they were five years ago?

  Well, there's the aforementioned carbon tax which is compounded through every step of the production and distribution chain. The minimum wage has increased by 20% which is applied to every person working in all those parts of the chain. Interest rates increased by 75% over that period impacting every entity that borrows money. In short, a host of factors led to retail price increases because no corporation absorbs those costs without passing them on.

  Getting back to blame, who's fault is all this? Is it Justin's? Joe's? No. It's us. We demanded our politicians do something about greenhouse gases. We wanted a higher minimum wage. We overheated the housing market after COVID by spiking demand, forcing the central banks to raise interest rates to cool the market. That spike in house prices and interest rates led to fewer people able to afford real estate and forced them to rent. Increased demand for rental properties caused rents to spike as well. We demanded products when supply chains weren't functioning properly and were willing to pay higher prices rather than do without until things returned to normal.

  And now we cry at our politicians to fix all this. Where's the affordable housing? Why are prices so high? Why can't we afford rent? Why is gasoline so expensive. Whining. We demanded these things and now we have to live with the consequences. It's unreasonable to expect politicians to fix the things that market forces and our collective demands have caused. We have an unsustainably high standard of living.

  Blame. There's lots of blame to go around. Did anyone see this coming? I don't think anyone had COVID on their bingo card. We're living in the fallout and there's no magic Skyactiv to fix it. Any politician who says they have a solution is lying.

  Back to the dog. He's a good dog as long as there are no other dogs. There's no blame to place here. We're adults. We gathered all the available information and made an informed decision for which we accept the consequences. Remember that next time you vote.

  By the way, I have nothing personal against Mazdas. I'm sure they're fine cars. But, if I were ever to buy one I know the "Skyactiv Technology" badge would not be the deciding factor.

   Also, a shout out to my lovely wife who listens to my rants, corrects my grammar and puts me in my place when I get high and mighty. If her fingerprints weren't on these missives I doubt you'd have followed along until now.

  Thursday we wing our way off to Kelowna in search of new adventures. Stay tuned.

Cheers.

Pros and Cons

  It's mid-September and here we are in a beautiful home in that no-man's land between Aurora and Newmarket. It's technically Aurora but a 100 meter walk to the north would put us in Newmarket. Regardless, it's close to home and not Jen's house. It's not that we have anything against Jen's house but I suspect they've seen enough of Penny and me recently that a break was required, so here we are.

  Although I didn't write about it, this is our second sit in this house having spent four days here when we returned from Hawkesbury. Our charge is a rather large long-haired shepherd  named Magnum:

  He's a sweetheart but not very well trained. Since he's big and strong some wrestling is required along with some stern commands that can get his attention. Walking him is a challenge. You see, he's not very friendly to other dogs. By "not friendly" I mean he wants to eat them. In order to walk this guy you need to look all around you to ensure you're not going to encounter something that will get him riled up.

  Take the other night for instance. There I was with the thick leather leash extended as far as it would go while he was watering a tree when, suddenly, out of the dark walks a man dressed in dark clothing with a black dog. Well, you'd have thought the guy was walking one of the dogs from the gates of Hell the way Magnum reacted. I was about an inch from being pulled over before I recovered in time to grab his collar as he lunged at the unsuspecting dog and owner. Disaster averted, but not before visions of ambulances and lawyers passed before my eyes.

  When there are no dogs around to set him off he's great although walking him can be a chore when he wants to sniff every tree trunk on a street that's just littered with them. Anyway, I'll come back to Magnum and his house but I need to digress a bit before we continue.

  I've entitled this installment "Pros and Cons" because this place is a perfect illustration of all that's good and bad about what we do. We've been at this almost sixteen months now and we're constantly asked if we're still enjoying it, how do we do this thing and how long will we continue doing this thing. Therefore, I think it's time for all of you to get a peek under the hood.

  If you've been a loyal follower of this blog you'll know we've been untethered and have gone largely where we've pleased. That makes arranging house sits easy. I just peruse the listings and we have conversations like, "How do you feel about Arizona?" or "Here's a nice sit in Panama" or some such place and Penny's response is usually something like, "When do we leave?" Easy. We've been able to be very selective about the location, house, pets and owners, taking only those assignments that satisfy our criteria for a pleasant stay.

  For example, we prefer to stay in houses rather than apartments. If they're close to water that's a big checkmark. Sometimes we ask the owners if they mind if we have visitors stay over. They've all been ok with that. We also look for things like a hot tub, swimming pool, bbq grill and fully-equipped kitchen. Often we're less particular about the house itself if it's in a location we want to visit. If we're traveling overseas it's nice if the owners let us use their car, like in Cyprus. Again, big checkmark.

  The animals are another decision point. We've applied for sits with cats, dogs, fish, rodents  and horses. We're ok with all of that unless the location is one where we want to be out of the house all day sightseeing. In that case animals that require less attention, like cats, are preferred.

  Finally, there's the scheduling issue. To minimize stays at Jen's or hotel stays while on the road I carefully schedule our sits to dovetail and minimize that downtime. I'll only look at jobs that have dates that mesh smoothly with our timelines. Thirty years as a project manager comes in handy here and it's worked well, mostly.

  That all changed in the spring when we decided to stay near home through the summer while the grandchildren were off school. That plan got extended to the end of this year when son David asked me to help him renovate his basement.

  Since agreeing to stay around home planning our housesitting schedule has become immeasurably more difficult because our selection criteria are very specific. During the summer we were a bit loose with those things because we got swimming pools and that was enough for the kids to come visit. Now that I'll be commuting to David's house on an almost daily basis I'd prefer not to be driving ninety minutes each way. Sounds like work!

  As a result, I'm trying to find us a place, or places, to cover the two and a half months from the time we return from our two weeks in Kelowna in mid-October until the end of the year somewhere in the reasonable vicinity of Newmarket/Aurora/Bradford. That means spending a couple of hours each day watching the websites we subscribe to throughout the day in case something pops up that we like. It's a tough order but I'm confident something will work out. Of course, you know that means I'll be driving ninety minutes each way.

  Ok, so what's involved in doing this house sitting thing?

  Let's say we've found a place that suits us. We apply to the owners, who can see our profile and the ton of five-star reviews we've accumulated. That means they'll likely be interested because we're exactly who they're looking for. I'm not overstating this. When people see our application it's a lock that they'll want to talk to us.

  The next step is usually a video chat, which is just like a job interview. We've aced all of those. We're pretty good at this. Really. Usually the owners like us and want us to take the assignment and that's it. Once in a while, though, we encounter homeowners that have unreasonable expectations that we feel we won't be able to meet. In those cases we respectfully decline. As I learned in business, managing expectations is the surest path to success.

  Now it's time for the actual house sit to begin.

  Some people want us to arrive a few hours or even a day early so we can get to know their pets. Spending hours chatting about nothing in particular with strangers can be uncomfortable for me so I generally don't look forward to this part. Penny enjoys it. Just ask her kids who have stood in supermarket checkout lines listening to her discuss any of a thousand topics with the person in line behind her.

  Once the owners leave it's time to get settled. Unpack, buy groceries, wander the house and grounds to get familiar with our surroundings, read and re-read the instructions, get to know the animals. In every house I scan the network to see if there are cameras. Many houses have exterior cameras but no one is supposed to enable interior cameras while we're there. In virtually all cases we've been left with specific instructions as to care of the animals, house, property, etc. Sometimes they can be incredibly specific, like the ones about Magnum's food.

  This guy's on a raw diet and I have to concoct a bizarre combination of these various gross smelling things for his meals. Breakfast is different than dinner. Every other day I'm to add a sardine to his dinner. On every second Thursday I'm to stand on my head and spin plates on my toes. You get the picture.

  Now, as I said, this stuff smells disgusting -- a lot like what it's going to smell like when he's done with it. I don't even think he likes it. I have to coax him to get up off the floor to come over and investigate this putrid mess. He eats it but I'm sure I've never seen a dog eat with less enthusiasm. Anyway, I'm sure it's good for him... just like cod liver oil is good for you.

  Throughout our house sitting adventures we've been asked to do some weird things. Put one cat's food in the kitchen and the other cat's food by the pool table. Don't use the sponge for human dishes to clean the dog bowl. Instead of putting the cat's food where the dog can't get it, put the food on the floor and hold onto the dog while the cat eats. Like that.

  The bulk of each of our stays is pretty standard stuff, just in a different location all the time. We shop for food, cook meals, care for the animals, do the laundry and housecleaning and see the sights. We watch TV, read books, surf the 'net, solve puzzles... all the same kinds of things we'd do if we were home, if we had one.

  Finally, our last day at each place arrives and it's time to clean up. We wash the sheets and towels, make the bed, clean the bathrooms, clean the dishes and put them away, vacuum the floors, feed the animals, etc. It's like a ballet, carefully timed and choreographed to accomplish the most in the least amount of time. In almost every case the owners' reviews have said how clean and tidy the house was when they returned. We rock.

  Pros and cons, right? Nice houses, great neighbourhoods, scenic areas, cute pets. Some pain in the ass other stuff. Most of the owners have been very nice people and we would be friends with many of them if we lived closer. Some of them have not but, thankfully, it's a very small number. We've done seventeen house sits so far and, thankfully, most of them have been simple and fun. While we're doing this we're not paying for rent, property taxes, utilities, house repairs, Internet service or home insurance so our expenses are very low.

  As you know, we love to travel and that's what we've been doing. The difference between the way we travel and the way everyone else travels is we stay in a great house for free. No hotels. No AirBnB. No camping. We just have to get there and pay for our food and whatever else we want to do while we're there. It's pretty cool and we're going to do it for at least a few more months.

  So. I hope I've answered the questions most people have been asking us. If you have other questions please fire away. Maybe it will generate another installment. Since we're not being tourists these days I'm finding it a bit of a challenge thinking of things to write about. Our next sit, in Kelowna, starts October 3. Until then I remain your intrepid adventurer.

Cheers!

New York Times Restaurant Review

   Ok. It's not but I'll bet the title attracted your attention. Right? I promised a compendium of restaurant reviews from all our travels during the past fifteen months so, since I'm compelled to keep my promises, here it is whether you like it or not. I'm inclined to present this chronologically as that's how my memory works, so here goes.

Delphos, OH

  To be honest, we didn't actually eat at Cabo Mexican Restaurant during any of our housesitting excursions although we intended to. We aimed ourselves here on our first day out of Newmarket because we'd eaten at this place back in 2018 during an overnight stop while driving home with the 1965 Corvair convertible we'd purchased in Atlanta. When we tried to return in 2023 it happened to be on Memorial Day and it was closed so we ended up at Pizza Hut, which wasn't nearly as good.

  The reason we wanted to return was our first experience was fantastic. The food was authentically Mexican, the service was impeccable, the prices were very reasonable and we drank a pitcher of margaritas.

  I feel, maybe, our opinion of the place was influenced by the last item on the list which we also shared with our waiter. That shred of doubt was what brought us back five years later. Since we didn't get a chance to prove this place's worth one way or the other I guess it will have to wait for us to have another opportunity, or for one of you to venture into deepest, darkest Ohio and give it a try.

Prescott, AZ

  Ok. You've driven a looooong way. You arrived, unpacked, grabbed a few hours sleep and now you're ready for a superlative breakfast. Get your ass down to the Bistro St. Michael in downtown Prescott, AZ and order the Brisket Benedict. This may be the most wonderful thing ever invented to start your day. It's got grilled poblanos, avocado, brisket, hollandaise, potatoes and... eggs. The coffee wasn't great so, when you're done here, walk a couple of blocks to burn off some of the calories and check in to the Wild Iris Coffee House.

  Much coffee is here. No. Much terrific coffee is here. And other baked thingies which are almost as good as the coffee. It's a cozy little spot with great music in the background and a shady patio just outside. I think we went to this place three times while we were there and each time was better than the last.

San Francisco, CA

  To be honest, we didn't really eat in any great restaurants here. We did take a wonderful food tour in the Mission District which exposed us to a couple of noteworthy places. The food we ate there was on the street so, as I said, not in. The first place we hit, called Craftsman and Wolves, had a neat breakfast item called the Rebel Within:

  It's a muffin with a soft-cooked egg inside surrounded by pork sausage bits, asiago and parmesan cheeses and scallions. Yes. It's as good as it sounds. A great start to the day, which was followed by a stop in the Dandelion Chocolate Shop. Not technically a restaurant, but if you think of chocolate as life then it offers sustenance for spiritual survival. We bought some and ended up taking the next two months to eat it, nibbling at a piece from one country one week and one from another country the next.

Crescent City, CA

  If ever you find yourself wandering up the northern California coast without clothes because some asshole broke into your car in San Francisco and stole everything you'll likely find yourself in Crescent City. Two things: 1) don't go to the Walmart expecting to buy socks and underwear because all that stuff is under lock and key and I'm pretty sure you don't want to ask for help locating underwear and 2) go to Kin Thao for Thai food. This little place, located in what passes for a downtown core in this burg, is a quality joint. Food? Great. Price? Also great. Service? Ditto. We came hungry and left happy. Without underwear.

Vancouver, BC

  Another food tour, this time in Chinatown. Once again we ate something terrific on the street, the maybe world famous steamed buns from New Town Bakery. The best. It was followed shortly thereafter by dim sum at Floata Seafood Restaurant. Also the best. Wait. Two "bests"? Ok, let me reduce your expectations so there's no potential disappointment after jumping on a plane, flying to Vancouver and finding these places are no better than Wong's Chicken Ball Emporium in Poughkeepsie, NY. If you find yourself already in Vancouver and your intention is to head to Chinatown, you could do a lot worse than eat at these places. There. Expectations set accordingly.

Idaho Falls, ID

  There's only one reason you'd find yourself here and that's because you're on your way to Yellowstone National Park, which we were. Next to the Econo Lodge is Grandpa's Southern BBQ. Go there. It's run by a family from Alabama and it's real BBQ. The husband runs the smoker with a deft touch, the wife waits tables and Mama sits behind the register making sure the place runs on a paying basis. She's also responsible for handing out a free slice of pie if she likes you. She liked us. We got two! More food than we could comfortably eat, so we just got uncomfortable and waddled back to the motel to lie down in a food coma afterwards. We'd go there again, except Idaho's a long way to go for dinner.

Minnesota

  When we stayed in Montgomery, MN we spent a lot of time traveling around to see all the surrounding towns and villages. We saw the Defeat of Jesse James Days at Northfield, hit the Spam Museum in Austin, wandered around Minneapolis for an afternoon, you get the picture. 

  The best food experience we had was at a BBQ place in Lonsdale called Smoke. It's actually a microbrewery and BBQ which pairs two of life's treasures in one place. The choice of beers is extensive and tasty and the food is sublime. We still have the $10 off card we won at Trivia Night and we're planning to return when the homeowners in Montgomery invite us back.

  A local midwest specialty we discovered in Minnesota was Beer Cheese Soup. After a round of golf in Fairbault (Fairbow), MN, we were looking for a bite to eat and happened upon the Depot Bar and Grill. The aforementioned concoction was on the chalkboard and, since it combined two of my favourite foods, I clicked on "adventure" and ordered a bowl. Well, I wasn't disappointed. It immediately became one of my favourite soups, so much so that I attempted to make it when we returned home. I was less successful than the Depot's chef so I guess that means we'll have to return there too!

The South

  Now this one's a bit weird (not Donald Trump and JD Vance weird) but I have to include it if I'm to satisfy my duties here. If you're traveling an interstate highway in any southern state it behooves you to stop at Buc-ees (hyphen is theirs not mine), a giant pit stop where you can buy gas, food, souvenirs and all kinds of weird Christian-type memento thingies ("thank you Jesus for helping me dry the dishes"). Ignore all that and head straight to the brisket sandwiches. Because there's nowhere to eat them you end up sitting in your car, napkin spread out on your lap to cover the spots where you just know that BBQ sauce is going to plop, and pig out on one of the best sandwiches you'll ever eat. Trust me on this.

Hutchinson Island, FL

  Imagine you're lying on a beach, soaking up some rays, listening to the surf roll in, the gulls squawking overhead.

  What can complement such a scene most effectively? If your answer was a dozen buck-a-shuck oysters and a $2 Yuengling beer, you win! Just down the road from the place we stayed, across from the beach, sits a little neighbourhood pub called The Magic Oyster that offers just that. You sit on the patio and, anytime from 3-6 pm, you can slurp oysters and quaff beers to your heart's content and leave yourself lots of money to head around the corner for an ice cream cone afterwards. This is not an experience you get tired of fast.

  Also, if you're in the mood for pizza, which I always am, there's a place across the Intracoastal Waterway in Jensen Beach called Original Santos Wood Fired Pizza. It's quaint, as in Chianti bottles with candles in them on the table tops and a bad singer at a cheap organ bellowing "That's Amore" at the top of his cigarette smoke-coated lungs. Ok, maybe not "quaint"... more like "cheesy". But, hey, it's a pizza joint so I guess "cheesy" isn't a bad thing. The pizza, however, needs it's own song. Chewy, tasty crust, sweet, tangy sauce, high quality toppings. I dare you to do better than this place. Oh, and there's always a lineup to get in so order online, pick it up and eat at home. You'll still wait when you get there but it's worth it.

Paphos, Cyprus

  Tavernas are everywhere in Cyprus and Greece. Everywhere you go you can find passable souvlaki, spanakopita and moussaka... and french fries. Finding a place that takes pride in their food can be a challenge but we were directed to a little place that satisfied our requirements for good food and service, reasonably priced. If you're in Mesogi, at the north end of Paphos, head to To Tavernaki. The menu is interesting, the food is prepared and served with care and the service is friendly and warm. The place is always jammed so I think the locals agree.

Isthmia, Greece

  The Corinth Canal dates back a while and one of the oddities about it are two submersible bridges. I won't bore you with the details as you can Google as well as I. The point is, we wanted to see one in action so we camped out at the Isthmia Bridge Cafe for lunch. We spent two hours waiting for the bridge to do its thing while the old woman who ran the place served us local beer and the best souvlaki on the face of the Earth. I may be exaggerating, but not by much. By the way, the bridge never moved since as, we found out after lunch, the canal was closed for repairs. Stupid tourists. But the souvlaki made it all worthwhile.

Delphi, Greece

  There we were in Delphi, preparing to visit with the Oracle the next morning, wondering where to eat. The nice lady where we were staying advised us the best restaurant in town was a short walk away and we should just go there. So we did.

  It's important to know, at this point, that the town of Delphi is built on the side of a mountain. Everywhere you go in town you get amazing views down through the surrounding hills to the Gulf of Corinth. And that was the view we were presented with when we sat down to dinner that evening at Taverna Vakhos. To say the food was superb is an understatement. This is a farm to table establishment so everything they serve is produced by local farmers. It's fresh, original and amazing. Go to Delphi and eat there. I mean it.

Ottawa, ON

  That brings me to our most recent memorable meal, during our stay in Hawkesbury, ON. While in Ottawa for things touristy Penny and I went to Aroma Meze to celebrate our 42nd anniversary. It's an unassuming little place occupying a house on a residential street downtown. It's warm and softly lit and is filled with tables laden with all manner of meze being enjoyed by people who love great food. If you're not familiar with it, meze (pronounced mezz-eh) is the Greek/Cypriot version of tapas, that is, small plates.

  We had a friendly, knowledgeable waiter who helped us with our choices, brought us fine wine and set fire to our Ouzo Shrimps.

  That, alone, earned him a generous tip as I love it when people set fire to things. We enjoyed everything we ate, listed our favourites, drank the wine, ate dessert and left, hours later, satisfied and happy. That's the definition of a great meal.

  And with that my screed comes to an end. I promised a compendium of fine dining and I hope you think I delivered. I know many of these establishments are off the beaten track for most people but I urge you, should you darken any of the varied spots around the globe I've covered here, do yourself a favour and stop in for a bite. You won't be disappointed.

Salut!