Cheap Gods

  It's been a week since my last missive but, before we get to our latest doings, let me apologize to you, my faithful readers, hanging on the edge of your respective seats awaiting the next chapter. I've been struggling with a rather nasty cold the past week and blogging has been the furthest thing from my mind. I mean, I could have regaled you with my adventures in sinus drainage but I felt like a clog blog wasn't what you were hoping for. Anyway, I'm feeling better today, thanks, and that means it's time to catch up so buckle up and hang on.

  Let's start with the title of this episode, "Cheap Gods". I'll bet that's going to be a shocking title on a Mount Olympus Google search. I can just hear Zeus thinking, "Cheap huh? I'll show him!", followed by a lightning bolt to the tiny car we'll be driving. That Zeus. He's such a joker.

  If you remember back to our Athens chapter and all the temples we visited you'll remember they were all constructed of marble, thus they're still largely intact. Cyprus has no marble, as I mentioned last time. It was originally of volcanic origin so the rock here is volcanic and sedimentary. If it wasn't for the dry climate the entire island would probably melt away.

  Ok, so geology class is over. What's the connection to gods, I hear you asking. Well, Cyprus, Paphos actually, is the birthplace of Aphrodite, another in the pantheon of Greek gods. Oh, and there's Adonis too. And a couple of others. In Greece you don't hear much about this gang but they're all over the place in Cyprus. No marble so temples are falling down, pillars, mostly Doric (Ha! We did learn something in Athens) lie in pieces. Most of the stuff is buried, not built atop hills looking down upon mortals. Cheap. It's like these guys weren't respected like the top guys in Greece. Kind of like it's the wrong side of the tracks here. I have visions of Aphrodite and Adonis with their tats and leather gang jackets hanging out by the beach doing crack.

  That aside, before I was laid low with the dreaded lurgy we managed a day's excursion to the northwest corner of the island, near Polis. If you know your Greek you'll know "polis" means "city". Think Metropolis. Like that, except without Superman who, if he were German would be Uberman, but not like the cab driver. Anyway, I digress.

  We were there to climb the Aphrodite Trail which ascends almost four hundred meters to the top of a hill overlooking the entire northwest corner of Cyprus. It's a four hour hike, according to AllTrails and, if we were twenty years younger I'm sure it would be. Unfortunately, we're not and it wasn't.

  We started at the Baths of Aphrodite which is as good a place to start a hike as any. The Baths are a waterfall which empties into a clear pond. Very enchanting and I'm sure it would be wonderful if we were there when it's 40 plus in July. Unfortunately, no swimming allowed. The trail snakes it's way up the hill through a lot of loose rock culminating at the ruin of Aphrodite's Temple. Now then, let's look at this critically. Let's say it's summer... and it's hot. I would think you'd want the cool baths at the top after an arduous climb to the temple. Am I right? That Aphrodite - bad planner.

  As I said, it was supposed to be a four hour hike and we embarked around 12:30. By 2:00 we'd only managed to climb halfway, covering only 2 km of the 8 km loop. With sunset at 5:30 we didn't want to be caught coming down the hill in the dark so we cut it short. We did get some beautiful views so it wasn't a waste. 

 These guys didn't seem to mind the climb...

  Monday was a beautiful day so I hauled my ass out of bed and we headed down for a cruise along the southwest coast road from Paphos to the Byzantine church of Agios Georgios (St. George).

  It's not a particularly noteworthy church but it is located at the end of the westernmost paved road in Cyprus. Yeah. It's what I do. Just before you get to the end of the road as you wind your way down a hill to the sea you're presented with the small island of Yeronissos:

  Along the way we stopped at the Tombs of The Kings. Spoiler alert. There are no kings there. It was more like Tombs of The Important Guys. Lots of tombs over a large tract of oceanfront real estate. It felt a bit like an ancient developer had purchased the land and put up a big "Tombs For Sale. Oceanfront Views." sign. No money down. Free A/C. Of course, like any developer worth his salt he needed a catchy name for the place. It's like when you check out the latest development called, "Forest Heights". There's no forest and there's no heights. Just houses. Same thing. No one's gonna buy a tomb in a place called "Tombs of The Somewhat Noteworthy Guys".

  As I was saying, there's lots of tombs there so there must have been lots of important guys in Paphos twenty-five hundred years ago. It's a fascinating place to take a stroll with so many examples of early Hellenistic architecture that have been excavated.

  There's no indication of who or what was interred in the tombs as, by the time it was fully explored in the 19th and 20th centuries, worldly goods had been stolen and bodies, which were not mummified, had completely decomposed. The only evidence were some bits of amphorae with manufacturers' stamps that allowed archaeologists to date the site. I think all they had to do to date the site was look for the Lego:

  Even I can tell it's from the same time period as the stuff we saw in Athens!

  That was the extent of our explorations this week, due to my aforementioned sickness. It also meant we didn't go out for groceries because, if I'm not driving we're not going anywhere. This isn't a knock on Penny. We live in the middle of a village with narrow streets where you have to drive on the left.

  Driving on the left is enough of a challenge if you haven't done much of it but doing that in a place where a six inch miscalculation can cost you a new fender is asking a bit much. Besides, it's not our car.

  We ended up spending much of the week huddled in front of the heater and staring at screens. Now, we've both staked out spots in the "snug", as the homeowners call it, and it's quite warm and cozy when it's cold outside. However, the cats are also fond of our spots and all it takes is for one of us to get up for five minutes and either Lucy or Max takes over. Here's Lucy expressing her displeasure with Penny, who wanted her seat back (turn your volume up for this):

  Lucy also doesn't want to be brushed. Just for the record.

  Tomorrow, our friend Kate arrives for a week's visit. Now that I'm mobile once again I expect we'll have lots of adventures as we continue our Cypriot Odyssey. Until next time, Opa! (throw plates)