The End is Nigh

   Wow. Apocalyptic title or what? I guess I could have said "The End Is Nye" and proceeded to riff on Bill Nye and what a cool Science Guy he is. But I didn't. I could have said "The End Is Guy" and gone on about how there are two (yes, two) Guy Fieri restaurants in Norfolk. As if anyone cares. But I didn't. I'm, of course, referring to the end of our time here in Virginia. We're only here until Tuesday when we'll drive off for a night on Chincoteague Island, home of wild ponies, then on to Baltimore for a few days of baseball games, eating soft shell crabs and touring around Washington before returning to Newmarket's sunny climes.

  As the weather here has been less than ideal it's been difficult for us to enjoy our surroundings to the fullest. The kayaks the homeowners have graciously left for us to use are only ten footers so are very unstable if the water exhibits any kind of chop. With a lot of windy days here that's kind of been off the table as the water is still frigid so we don't want to land in it. The forecast says next week will be beautiful... but we'll be gone. That's why we've spent so much time touring around the area trying to find anything interesting.

  Remember, we're in the heart of US history and military power here in Virginia. It's really hard to go anywhere without being reminded of it. That's why my posts have such an American bent to them. There's little else of interest around here so we're immersed in it and it's getting to be a bit much. We had planned to see the Army Transportation Museum but I had a brilliant idea about taking a boat tour of the Norfolk navy base instead, so off we went. Trouble was, the cruise was sold out. We did manage to glimpse the retired USS Wisconsin, the largest battleship every built:

So we went home. The next day the weather was decent so we managed to play a little golf:

  Based on our scores, I'd say we played as little as possible. We did excavate, scar some trees, make ripples in the ponds and I even broke a club. I know what you're thinking. Mike got angry and wrapped his 7 iron around a tree. Don't be silly. Mike would never do that. There's so many other things he would do, but not that. Anyway, the shaft literally snapped in the middle of my backswing. I think something heavy must have been dropped on it in the trunk of the car as there was a visible dent in it. If anyone has a decent 7 iron they're not using hit me up.

  The course we played is unusual in that the clubhouse is historic.

  One of the founders of the Planters Peanut company owned it in the early 1900's. Yes, that's Mr. Peanut in front. Apparently, at the time, Virginia peanuts were considered to be the best in the country so Suffolk, where the golf course is located, became the Peanut Capital of America (yes, capitalized). End of history lesson.

  Yesterday we organized a full day around Norfolk. The weather forecast called for a warm, sunny day, perfect for what we had planned. We were going to start at Virginia Beach, walk on the sand, look for shells, have lunch overlooking the waves. Like that. Then we'd be off to take the boat cruise we'd missed earlier. The 22C temp would be perfect for the two hours on the water. We would complete our day in the sun watching a minor league ball game. What a great plan. I went online and bought tickets for the cruise and ball game. All set.

  Ok. The first thing I need to say is the weather forecast lied. When they were figuring out what the day was going to look like they missed "sunny and warm" on the weather office dartboard and, instead, hit "cool and rainy". Their second attempt landed on "generally shitty". They had one more shot at it and got a bullseye... on "stay home".

  When I re-checked the forecast before leaving home they had changed it to a cloudy and rainy morning followed by a spectacular afternoon. That's ok, we thought. We'll skip the beach as we've seen some pretty wonderful beaches and this one won't be any different. No problem. We'll leave later and just do the cruise and baseball game. And so we did.

  You know that cloudy, rainy, cool thing they said would be gone after the morning? Wrong again. We got on the boat at 2:00. It had just finished raining and there was a cold wind blowing. The cabin was full so we had to sit up top, in the open which, I think I might have just mentioned, was cool and windy. For two hours. We did see some pretty cool stuff, so the excursion was well worth the price and discomfort... mostly.

  Norfolk is home to the largest naval base in the world. Fittingly, the US has the largest navy in the world so what better place to put it? We saw every type of seagoing hardware they could dream up, from re-supply ships to submarines to destroyers to aircraft carriers. Here are two of the biggest, and the camera doesn't do them justice. First, the 30 year-old Nimitz-class USS George Washington:

And the USS Gerald Ford, the newest member of the fleet:

  It's important to note these pics were taken from about a quarter mile away so it's hard to understand how huge these ships are. The Ford has a twelve hundred foot long deck. That's almost a quarter mile! And this thing not only floats but can cruise at up to fifty knots. Don't get these guys mad at you.

  As I said earlier, we were up top and it was cool and windy. When we arrived back at the dock after two hours both of us were just a bit chilled. Ok, shivering. It was starting to warm up but, when I say "warm up" it was still windy with temps in the mid-teens. Since we had a couple of hours to blow before the ball game we decided to take the twenty minute drive to Virginia Beach, grab a cup of coffee, see the sand and the waves and drive back in time for first pitch. And that's exactly what we did.

  Back in Norfolk we headed to Harbor Park, the home of the Tides, Triple-A affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles. Everything I'd read said this was a stacked team. The Orioles' farm system is loaded with major league prospects and this team was the cream of the crop, rated as the best team in all the minor leagues. We were expecting a slugfest with so much talent crammed into one roster.

  It's a beautiful ballpark, one of the nicest we've been to. It's situated right on the Elizabeth River so you can see the shipyards and two iconic railway drawbridges rising from the outfield.

  The bridges are in use and we saw one of them go up and down during the game. Pretty cool. Now, I said something about a slugfest. Wrong again. The Tides were playing the Gwinnett Stripers, affiliate of the Atlanta Braves who also have a very productive farm system. Apparently, the Braves' farm system places more of a priority on pitching as they didn't give the Tides much to hit and they beat them 4-3. Nevertheless it was fun although the food was not particularly good and fairly expensive.

  The highlight of the night was the purchase of a Tides t-shirt Jen had asked us to get for her. Yes. You see, Penny saw two shirts she thought Jen would like but wasn't sure which one she'd prefer. One was a grey V-neck and the other a green crew neck. Penny asked me which one I thought Jen would like and, when she gave me the choices, I heard "gravyneck". Yeah. You know where this is going. While Penny was laughing uncontrollably she texted Jen and asked if she wanted the "gravyneck" or the green crew neck. Since she's a Himelfarb she replied, "Gravyneck?", followed by, "you know that's the one I want"... or words to that effect. It was a great way to end the day.

  As I said earlier, we're heading out of here in a few days so I'm unlikely to post again until we're in Baltimore. Before then I have a favour to ask. There are about fifty of you who, Google tells me, are, as Stephen King would say, "Constant Readers" and I'd like your opinions. There's a comments section on these posts and I'd like to hear from all of you.

  Tell me what you enjoy and what you don't. Tell me what you'd like to see more of. Tell me what you're tired of. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say "American history" is on the "less" list, but I want to hear it from you. I'm sixty episodes into this and, although I don't intend to stop, maybe you've seen and heard enough and I should stop. This is your opportunity to editorialize.

  Because Google doesn't give me any info on who is commenting I'd appreciate it if you could identify yourself when you respond. Also note, for the same reason, I can't reply. If the comments are interesting and/or entertaining I may include them in a future post. There, favour asked.

  Until then, I remain, your Faithful Adventurer.

A Truly Excellent Experience... For A Dollar!

  Now, you probably have the impression there's nothing to do around here because we've hardly done anything, right? There's no mountains, deserts or beaches. There's no ancient ruins, missile silos or things on sticks. It's a nice house and all but, with nothing of note nearby, we're forced to go further afield to find anything interesting. Thus, we continue to search.

  Tripadvisor told us to go to Historic Williamsburg. Our bank account told us to skip it. I mean, fifty bucks each for a couple of hours watching people engaging in colonial LARP? Not. I knew there must be something engaging that would provide better value so I dove, head first, into Googleworld and found two places that might be interesting.

  Our first stop was the Army Transportation Museum. It's free and gets good reviews. Score. The only problem is, Google doesn't tell you the only way to see it is by entering Fort Eustis, an active army base. We didn't know any of this until we came to the gate and a soldier demanded our pass. Pass? Google didn't say anything about a pass. Of course, Google didn't mention needing a pass to enter the top secret radar base on top of Mt. Olympus in Cypress either, but that didn't stop us. The soldier with the rifle did. Anyway, without our passports to prove we weren't Russian spies we weren't going to get a day pass so we turned around and left.

  That left us with two options resulting from my exhaustive Googling, Costco and the Mariners' Museum. Leaving frozen food in a hot car while we tour a museum is unwise so Costco was relegated to option B and we headed off to check out what the mariners had in store for us. It's worth noting that the last time we encountered mariners was at a ballpark in Seattle and it didn't turn out well for them. We assumed this place involved different mariners.

  In my research I'd found this museum held artifacts recovered from the Civil War ironclad USS Monitor. If you're not familiar with it you can click here and find out why it was significant.  We expected this to be an interesting way to while away an hour. Were we ever wrong. It wasn't interesting. It was fascinating! And it took us all afternoon to see the place. And (drum roll please) admission was only $1 each. Yes. ONE DOLLAR.

  We started with a fifteen minute summary of the place presented to us by a very knowledgeable docent, very obviously thrilled that people from Canada came to see his museum. From there we encountered a reproduction of the ironclad casemate from the CSS Virginia (if you clicked on the link back there you'll know what I'm talking about).

Outside, there's a full size replica of the Monitor recently built by a local shipyard so you can see what it would have looked like IRL:

  It's worth noting here that, in my high school American History class I was taught the resulting battle was between the Monitor and the Merrimack. I'd never heard mention of the CSS Virginia. Well, it's that old "the victors write the history" thing. Because we're in Virginia and they were on the side of the Confederacy, it's referred to here as the Virginia. Everywhere else it's called the Merrimack since no one wanted to confer legitimacy upon the Confederates.

  At the end of 1862 the Monitor sank in the Atlantic Ocean off the Outer Banks of North Carolina and, starting in 1998, expeditions began recovering significant artifacts.

  The turret, guns and engine are in huge tanks as they are subjected to various chemical treatments designed to remove rust and preserve them for eventual display. As the wreck lay upside-down in the Atlantic Ocean that position has been maintained for the artifacts being treated. Here's the upside-down engine in one tank:

And the upside-down turret in another:

These artifacts have been in these tanks for thirteen years and may be immersed for seven more before they are deemed safe to expose to the air. Until then, the museum undertook to build a display to show what the upside-down turret looked like upon recovery:

As well as one depicting how it looked, right side up, when new:

  The museum also included a significant display of merchant marine models, some up to thirty feet long, and another display hall of various types of small boats including the 2013 America's Cup winner. All in all, quite an impressive museum. And all it cost us was $1 each.

  It wasn't always that way. Until 2016 admission was in line with other museums at around $15 each but management decided they would better serve their community by dropping the cost and encouraging the local population to visit and revisit this magnificent collection. Apparently, it worked. They collect virtually the same admission revenues as before but expose the collection to fifteen times as many visitors. Well done.

  The only black mark on this place was an annoying tour guide leading a herd of old people around. It seemed wherever we went there was that loud voice doing a passable imitation of RFK Jr, followed by a lot of shuffling and glazed eyes. Maybe they looked uninterested because it was nap time or maybe they were equally as annoyed with him as we were. Either way, they didn't look nearly as thrilled with all of it as we were. If you go see this place, and I heartily recommend it should you be in the neighbourhood, (although who has any reason to come here, I don't know) make sure you call before you go. Just ask if the annoying tour guide is working on that day. You've been warned.

  One other thing. They have a gift shop. I say this because every attraction like this has one. I know this because Penny says, "Oh look. They have a gift shop." Otherwise, I would never know. Like all the other ones, I say, "Ok. I have to pee. I'll meet you in the gift shop." I do what I have to do and then spend fifteen minutes wandering around looking at things I'll never buy while I wait for her to be done. Every once in a while I buy something I need, like a t-shirt, so they're not so bad and, in this case, I thought this place might offer something interesting.

  Anyway, after I'm done in the washroom I go to the gift shop and... it's empty. No Penny. I start looking behind things and under tables but no Penny. The nice lady, alarmed at my behaviour, asks if she can help. When I tell her I'm looking for my wife she asks, "The lady in the pink shirt?" Pink? I thought it was white. "Ooooookay", I stammer, "Yeah, pink shirt." She points outside and there she is sitting on a bench, waiting for me. I relate all of this because of its rarity. An entire gift shop unshopped. I checked her temperature and asked if she knew where she was. All was ok, except for the unshopped gift shop. I'm chalking this up to her being excited by the upcoming Costco visit. Maybe not, but we did just have an eclipse so anything can happen.

  And so, our "we'll spend an hour in this place" became an entire afternoon of fascinating discovery and education. We still went to Costco, because it was there. We plan to return to the Army Transportation Museum, with passports in hand, because it's free. And it might end up being another hidden gem. Stay tuned.

We Finally Did Something

 Yes, after two weeks of sitting on our butts we finally got up and went to see some of the sights here in Tidewater Virginia. But first, I just wanted to note how excited we were to read that the Olympic torch was lit yesterday at Olympia, Greece, in preparation for the Paris Olympics. Those of you who loyally follow us will remember we were THERE just a month ago, standing at the very spot where they light the torch. I think it bears saying once again, what we've been doing is SO COOL!

  Now back to the present. We're in a wonderful spot here on Healy Creek. The house is beautiful and the setting is incredibly scenic and, yes, the cats are still head cases but they're getting used to us. Midnight slept on our bed a couple of nights ago and is hanging around us in the mornings, so she's becoming friendly. I can't say the same for Maisey as she still hisses at us unless we have "kitty crack" in hand.

  Now, before you go calling the ASPCA on us, the cats both get really excited for Purina Cat Chow like it's some kind of exotic delicacy. The owners don't like to give them much of it, preferring that gross wet food that smells like... cat food. Anyway, Maisey whines whenever we're in the kitchen, expecting treats. We feed her the gross stuff she's supposed to like but, unless we throw some "crack" in it, she just turns her nose up at it and walks away. Cats.

  Speaking of animals, our little spot here is rife with wildlife. Deer graze around the edges of the property.

Lizards hang out on the front step.

Like our digs in Minnesota last summer, hummingbirds are in abundance here.

  There's also what we think is, a very weird sounding frog. Penny sent a recording of it off to David for identification and here's what he said:

"Could be Fowler's Toad. It sounds lower and more nasally than the American Toad trill and the habitat fits. Good find. They are at the extreme northern range in Ontario at Long Point so we don't encounter them much."

  Did you get that? All I got was "Good find". I'm glad David went off to school and learned this sort of stuff so we don't sit here wondering if there's some kind of weird, noisy alligator living under our deck, or Bigfoot, settling down for the night after eating some of the oysters under our dock.

  We did manage to get out for some golf last week but the course we played had just aerated their greens. For those of you who aren't up on greenskeeping, "aerating" is the act of poking holes in the ground to allow air to get at the grass roots. Golf courses use a machine that pulls quarter-inch diameter cores out of the greens and then they fill the holes with sand. In a couple of weeks the green is good as new but, until then, it's like putting on a sidewalk... and it was. As a result, golf was less enjoyable that it could have been. On to other things.

  Remember when we went to Cyprus and I checked the weather for Paphos and figured it would be warm and then it wasn't? Same here. When we arrived we were told this spring's weather has been unusually shitty. It's not January in Edmonton but we were expecting temps in the low 20's and it's taken until yesterday to achieve that, thus it was time for us to get out and about... or as Canadians are supposed to say, "oot and aboot" (that's for any Australians in the audience).

  Yesterday was hot, around 32C, so we grabbed our water bottles and sunglasses and ventured forth in search of historical significance. I checked all the Internet sources I use to figure out what's worth seeing in an area and decided Yorktown and Jamestown were worthy targets of our wanderlust, so off we set.

  As you all remember, we use Atlas Obscura to help us find weird and interesting sights. It wasn't much use in Cyprus and Greece as it kept pointing us at legitimately historical things. There were no giant gods on sticks, no Zorba The Greeks made of old tennis balls, no weird places where aliens were reputed to have stopped for souvlaki. We had to make do with actual, legit history.

  Back in the States we know the ol' Atlas will be a potent weapon in the battle against boredom and mediocrity. Not here. It seems it's great in places where there's nothing interesting to see, like Oklahoma or Kansas. Once there's interesting stuff, forget it. Instead, we were forced to come up with our own interesting stuff, so here it is.

  Our first stop on the way to Yorktown was a place I spotted during a run to the local Walmart for groceries:

  Ok, I thought, this will be a good place to check out. I mean, "Fort Nonsense", right? Probably named for the famous Revolutionary War general Bartholomew "Nonsense" Tutwaddle after the famous Battle of Noseworthy where twelve Americans defeated seven hundred redcoats using nothing but a pile of rocks and a mousetrap. Right? Ok. I made that up. We stopped to check it out and, guess what? There's nothing there. It turns out the Confederates were going to build a fort there in 1863 and abandoned it so the locals christened it with the "Nonsense" moniker. Disappointing.

  Continuing towards our destination Atlas Obscura did point out something of note nearby, so we took a detour near Gloucester, towards the well-signposted Rosewell Plantation. We were assured this was worth a look as Thomas Jefferson was said to have penned an early version of the Declaration of Independence while staying there. Significant, right?

  Well, it turns out it's only open on weekends.

  Now, this place is really closed. They might as well have posted signs reading, "Piss off and Go Away! This means YOU!". They even had a barbed wire fence to keep us out. It's a ruin for God's sake! We climbed all over ruins in Greece that were three thousand years old. What did these people think we were going to do with their measly three hundred year old ruin? Anyway, here's what we could see without breaking out the wire cutters and making like we were in a bad remake of The Great Escape:

  Like I said, ruins. Nice trees though. We should have turned around right there and then as it was a sign of things to come. But no. Intrepid explorers that we are we decided to push on in search of more historical edification. And, sure enough, it didn't take long for us to find something extraordinary:

  Well, if they had an extra sign lying around it would have been more impressive. Just the same, this is no ordinary place. Not far from here is a pretty good BBQ joint and a really good ice cream spot. Not ordinary at all. Nor this:

  I've always said those Two Men and a Truck movers are liars because they always send three men when we hire them to move us. At least these guys are trying to be honest.

  Continuing on our trek it didn't take long to reach Surrender Field near Yorktown, site of the last major battle of the Revolutionary War in 1781. This is where British General Cornwallis surrendered to George Washington, triggering negotiations which led to the Treaty of Paris two years later and independence from Great Britain. A more iconic site in the United States would be hard to find, right? We followed a sign directing us to a tour road that would take us around the site, expecting the kind of detail and presentation we'd seen a couple of years ago while touring Antietam and other Civil War battlefields in Maryland.

  Now maybe we're a bit jaded after Greece. We know there's little remaining evidence of early European history in North America because they built everything out of the readily available wood and wood rots. No marble here. But this is an iconic site right? There's tons of documentary evidence describing exactly what happened here and when and who did it, like with the Civil War battlefields, right? Wrong. We saw the odd signpost that would indicate this spot is where Washington's adjutant cut his hair or this other spot is where the mechanic that fixed the broken cannons did his work or this spot is where some guys made camp and slept.

  The most impressive display was this "Washington slept here" board:

  Yeah. Tents. The house in the picture was nowhere to be seen. We drove around the rest of the tour road for another twenty minutes but didn't encounter anything that was remotely interesting so we went in search of the actual Surrender Field and its Visitor Center. We expected to see a museum there displaying various bits of war detritus like musket balls and soldier hats and lots of flashy movie displays and annual re-enactments on the schedule, right? Wrong. There's a little open air viewing platform giving out onto the field:

  There's a display of cannons that were captured and stamped with "SURRENDERED" and other "you lost, nyah nyah nyah" stuff on them.

  Otherwise, nothing. Just a field. By the way, have a close look at this cannon. You'll notice all kinds of royal-like inscriptions, fancy handles and engraving, etc. It's a cannon guys. It seems kind of weird the British would put so much effort into making their cannons look nice.

British soldier: "Hey Yankee, look at how nice our cannons look. They're shiny and have a crown on them and lots of fancy writing. We do that because we're bigger and stronger than you and we're going to deliver a beatdown on you if you want to fight us."

American soldier: "Hold my beer."

Perhaps the British could have put the same kind of effort into training their generals. Just sayin'.

  So, it was starting to look like the locked up ruins of the Rosewell Plantation would be the highlight of our day, but we pushed on, nevertheless. Our next stop was Jamestown, or "Jamestowne" as the early colonists spelled it, because they loved putting unnecessary "e"'s on the end of everything. If you don't know, Jamestown(with an "e" on the end) is where the first British settlement in North America was established in 1607 and is considered to be the place where America was born. It's most famous residents, John Smith and Pocahantas, can be found frolicking in a Disney flick somewhere. Thus is the state of American history in the twenty-first century.

  We arrived at the Jamestown (with an "e" on the end) Settlement and were greeted with the kind of Visitor Center we expected to find at Surrender Field. Lots of exhibits of artifacts dug up by archaeologists and history things and a movie and a gift shop. It's all run by the National Parks Service, the people who bring you the same impressive sites like those we visited last year, Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, Petrified Forest and the like. We flashed our handy annual parks pass to get in free and set off to explore the ruins and see all the history stuff.

  I should stop here. That's not exactly what happened. We did flash the pass and did get in free but we were told that only got us admission to the New Towne (see?). It would cost an additional $15 each if we wanted to see Old Towne (yep) as it's not run by NPS. Apparently it's on land that's owned by a private concern called Preservation Virginia and, until recently, they bundled both sites together under one, much cheaper, ticket. Unfortunately, as the docent told us, the two groups are not currently "getting along" so NPS ticket holders aren't welcome in Old Towne unless they pay extra. We decided against it. I mean, there must be more than enough history to go around, right?

  Wrong again. There's nothing there. A few bits of brick foundation. A broken down eighteenth century mansion that was obviously not built in accordance with the building code. Oh, and a mini Washington Monument. Well, it's the Tercentennial Monument, built in 1907 to commemorate the 300th anniversary of the settlement, but it does bear a striking resemblance to the big one in DC. According to the documentation it was built for $50,000 which isn't much for a monument, so here's what I'm thinking...

  It's 1906 and the local historical society wants to do something to show people they're on the job. 1907's coming up and they need a monument they can rally around, get their names in the local paper, get some famous rich white guy to make a speech at its unveiling... that kind of thing. One of them says they like that Washington Monument thingie they got up there in DC and he knows a guy that knows a guy and they should build one. Of course, the one in DC is rather large and they only want something about 50 feet tall so they buy a copy of the plans and get their guy to build a scale model. Much cheaper. It was also completed on time, rare for government work. Now that's just my take on it but I'll bet the real history isn't far off.

  That was it. Nothing else to see, except for a fence and a big Preservation Virginia banner draped over it and a lot of interesting stuff behind it. By then we were hot, tired and pissed so they weren't getting our fifteen bucks to see what we should have been able to see with our parks pass if those jerks would just talk to each other. So we left.

  On our way out we came to the Glasshouse. No, it's not made of glass and no, they don't throw stones there. This was a replica of the place where they made glass for windows... and other glassy things. This must be worth a look, we thought, so we did. Well, they make glass there the old way, using a big stone furnace. Except it's powered by natural gas and can make glass overnight as opposed to the old-fashioned way that uses hardwood for fuel and takes two weeks to make glass. Otherwise, it's the same. It's even built out of wood. With a 2,400 degree furnace inside. Wood. Hmmm. I was sure this didn't meet fire code.

  Sure enough, after watching a guy make glassy things for a few minutes we wandered around to see the ruins of the original glasshouse and read a sign proclaiming that the new Glasshouse was built after the previous one, built in 1974, burned down in 1976. Inside the display of the ruins is a picture of another replica glasshouse, circa 1957, also made of wood, also burned down. Somebody give these guys a course in physics.

  With that, we were done, We headed home with some unforgettable experiences... sort of. We also learned so many history things... sort of. Ok. We went home. I know that for sure. And we had BBQ and ice cream at Ordinary. The best part of the day.

Until next time.

84.5% of an Eclipse

   In the interest of giving you all the news that's fit to print here we are an hour removed from the Eclipse Of The Century and I'm already posting a new episode just for you, loyal readers.

  Yes, we're in Tidewater Virginia, so not in the Path of Totality, but we did manage to spend the time outside in hopes of seeing something dramatic. Nope. Apparently, 84.5% totality doesn't have much effect. Crickets disagreed with me as they started chirping when things started happening, as if it was dusk. Some dogs started howling. Otherwise, it wasn't much. It did get cooler though, so we knew something was going on.

  On the other hand, the kids back in Toronto were in the aforementioned Path Of Totality or, at least, 95% of it, so they managed to see a mostly total eclipse as the clouds started to part. Here's a cellphone shot my grandson, Lucas, captured:

  David tried to get a shot from Bradford but it was cloudy and so he offered this memorable pic:

  Too many damn comedians in this family.

  Eclipse aside, things have improved here in our little isolated piece of Virginia. The weather warmed up and Penny got over her cold. She's been having a grand time trying to identify all the birds that hang around the water beyond our backyard. I'd been waiting for warmer weather to get out in the kayak and today finally delivered:

  The cats have even warmed up to us. Well, one of them. Here's Midnight, who lets us pet her when she appears at night or early morning.

  She's very nocturnal, only appearing between the hours of 7 pm and 7 am. The rest of the time she can be found sleeping on the floor behind the beer fridge. If I've been drinking I can be found sleeping on the floor in front of the beer fridge. I think that's why she likes me. A kindred spirit.

  The other cat, Maisey, is still a head case.

  She's only friendly when she's hungry or when it's treat time, which is any time she's awake. I say friendly in that she doesn't run away or hiss at you... until after you've fed her. You can see the evil in her eyes. This is a cat that would be at home on the lap of an evil genius. I think one of her ancestors can be seen with Blofeld in a bunch of James Bond movies. Also, she  eats A LOT. Consequently, she poops A LOT. Like, enough for any two other cats. To quote Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws, she's an "eating machine". I'm thinking of feeding her license plates.

  Even though Maisey may be the most unfriendly cat I've ever encountered (she makes Lucy in Cyprus look positively wonderful in comparison) I can't say the same for the local residents. I went for a walk a couple of days ago and spent much of the time returning waves from every driver that passed me by. I think I may have developed carpal tunnel as a result. How do the royals do it? I should note that I'm white in an overwhelmingly white, middle to upper class part of the country that will likely vote for Trump in November. If I were Latino I'll bet the local constabulary would have shown up and waved me over, rather than waved at me. Maybe I'm overreacting but I've only seen white faces everywhere we've been around here. Not too many BIPOC's buying waterfront property in Tidewater Virginia.

  We haven't yet done much here other than shop for groceries but I think that's about to change. We're planning on hitting the local golf course tomorrow and we'll likely head down to Norfolk and Newport News/Virginia Beach later in the week. There's a lot of history in that neck of the woods as well some major naval installations and museums. Also, the Norfolk Tides, the Triple-A team of the Baltimore Orioles, are there and we all know how Mikey loves a ball game. I think Tuesday is $2 Beer night. Hopefully I don't end up on the floor in front of the beer fridge.

Cheers.

A Little Piece of Paradise

   Well, here we are once again, living in someone else's house for a month. This time we're in Virginia, a little place called Hardyville in the Tidewater region. We're on a creek that flows into Chesapeake Bay, southeast of Washington, DC.

  We left home Sunday morning and drove south, stopping in the chocolate capital of the United States, Hershey, PA. Unfortunately, Penny came down with a cold that morning so we didn't partake in any of the local sights (or tastes) so she could just stay in bed when we arrived. Neither of us is particularly fond of Hershey's chocolate anyway, preferring real chocolate respected around the world instead of that ersatz stuff they call chocolate in America. Give me some Cadbury's or Lindt any day.

  Our day finished with a bag of McDonalds' finest, consumed in our palatial surroundings while watching My Cousin Vinny on the motel room TV. Speaking of Vinny, if you're familiar with it, I have an issue with the courtroom scene where the FBI expert testifies the tire size on the accused's car being identical to the tracks found at the crime scene. He refers to "SR75/14" as the size but doesn't quote the width of the tire. It could be 175, it could be 235, it could be any number between 165 and 235. Anything wider wouldn't fit in the wheel wells of a 1964 Buick Skylark. I mean, really, what kind of expert is this anyway? If I was Vinny I would have shot him down immediately but I guess that would eliminate the need for the climactic scene where Vinny's fiancée has to testify. Without that there's no movie. Am I right?

  While we're on the subject, in Ms. Vito's testimony she claimed only the 1963 Corvette and 1963 Pontiac Tempest had independent rear suspension and a limited-slip differential. Having owned a Chevrolet Corvair I can attest that the 1963 and 1964 models also offered the same configuration with a similar track width. Now that you've been educated on early 1960's American car technology we can move on, as it has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this episode, but I'll bet you remember this next time you watch the movie.

  Monday morning we set off from Hershey, Penny armed with various cold medications, and pointed our way south. Our route was originally going to wander through Baltimore so we could catch a look at the ruined Key Bridge but the day was rainy and we didn't think we'd be able to see anything from our proposed vantage point some two miles away. Instead, we followed Google's advice and aimed for the west side of Washington which was okay until we hit I-95 just off the southwest part of the Beltway.

  At that point she (Google) advised us there was a thirty minute delay due to a crash near Quantico and we'd save ten minutes by following a different route. Of course we took that advice and sailed off on the time-saving route. It's important to note, at this point, that I've since determined a flaw in the whole Google giving us routing advice thing. I mean, as much as I'd like to think we're special, Google doesn't agree. She gave the same advice to everyone. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

  About three minutes into the time-saving route we encountered a lineup of about sixteen thousand other people who received the same advice. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure the time-saving route took about fifteen minutes longer than if we'd just sat in the original line. At least she didn't direct us to drive into a lake. It could have been worse.

  With our driving adventures behind us we arrived at our destination, a beautiful house on the water with two cats who have mental health issues. We've now been here about eighteen hours, as I write this. I have no pictures of the cats yet as I can't get near enough to either of them.

  Maisey is orange and very vocal when she's hungry. She also hisses and runs away if I get within five feet of her. Feeding her didn't ingratiate me with her either. Midnight is black and hides behind the refrigerator in the library. Yes, library. I managed to catch a glimpse of her by throwing treats in the gap between the fridge and freezer. Maybe she'll come out to watch us when we're playing pool. In the library. I'm sure they'll warm up to us... eventually.

  The house itself is bright and open and newly renovated -- chef kitchen, deluxe bathroom with multiple showers and a lot of windows overlooking the water. The view is so nice the owners didn't hang curtains anywhere, not even in the bedroom. It was cloudy and rainy this morning so no problem today but we face east-southeast and a clear sky will put sunrise right in our faces around 6:45 am. Can't wait.

  That's about the only thing we can take issue with here. It's a great spot, although fairly isolated -- the closest decent-sized grocery store is at least fifteen miles away. We do have kayaks, a bbq grill and a hot tub so I'm pretty sure we'll be happy just hanging out here and we're not far from Jamestown, the original European settlement, about an hour away. Let's see... hot tub overlooking the water, kayaking, checking out historically significant sites, decent golf nearby. This one's gonna be tough but I'm sure we'll persevere.

  Since we're so far from supplies I'll have to lay in a decent supply of alcohol so we don't run out. Gotta go. Later.