A Little Piece of Paradise

   Well, here we are once again, living in someone else's house for a month. This time we're in Virginia, a little place called Hardyville in the Tidewater region. We're on a creek that flows into Chesapeake Bay, southeast of Washington, DC.

  We left home Sunday morning and drove south, stopping in the chocolate capital of the United States, Hershey, PA. Unfortunately, Penny came down with a cold that morning so we didn't partake in any of the local sights (or tastes) so she could just stay in bed when we arrived. Neither of us is particularly fond of Hershey's chocolate anyway, preferring real chocolate respected around the world instead of that ersatz stuff they call chocolate in America. Give me some Cadbury's or Lindt any day.

  Our day finished with a bag of McDonalds' finest, consumed in our palatial surroundings while watching My Cousin Vinny on the motel room TV. Speaking of Vinny, if you're familiar with it, I have an issue with the courtroom scene where the FBI expert testifies the tire size on the accused's car being identical to the tracks found at the crime scene. He refers to "SR75/14" as the size but doesn't quote the width of the tire. It could be 175, it could be 235, it could be any number between 165 and 235. Anything wider wouldn't fit in the wheel wells of a 1964 Buick Skylark. I mean, really, what kind of expert is this anyway? If I was Vinny I would have shot him down immediately but I guess that would eliminate the need for the climactic scene where Vinny's fiancée has to testify. Without that there's no movie. Am I right?

  While we're on the subject, in Ms. Vito's testimony she claimed only the 1963 Corvette and 1963 Pontiac Tempest had independent rear suspension and a limited-slip differential. Having owned a Chevrolet Corvair I can attest that the 1963 and 1964 models also offered the same configuration with a similar track width. Now that you've been educated on early 1960's American car technology we can move on, as it has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this episode, but I'll bet you remember this next time you watch the movie.

  Monday morning we set off from Hershey, Penny armed with various cold medications, and pointed our way south. Our route was originally going to wander through Baltimore so we could catch a look at the ruined Key Bridge but the day was rainy and we didn't think we'd be able to see anything from our proposed vantage point some two miles away. Instead, we followed Google's advice and aimed for the west side of Washington which was okay until we hit I-95 just off the southwest part of the Beltway.

  At that point she (Google) advised us there was a thirty minute delay due to a crash near Quantico and we'd save ten minutes by following a different route. Of course we took that advice and sailed off on the time-saving route. It's important to note, at this point, that I've since determined a flaw in the whole Google giving us routing advice thing. I mean, as much as I'd like to think we're special, Google doesn't agree. She gave the same advice to everyone. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

  About three minutes into the time-saving route we encountered a lineup of about sixteen thousand other people who received the same advice. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure the time-saving route took about fifteen minutes longer than if we'd just sat in the original line. At least she didn't direct us to drive into a lake. It could have been worse.

  With our driving adventures behind us we arrived at our destination, a beautiful house on the water with two cats who have mental health issues. We've now been here about eighteen hours, as I write this. I have no pictures of the cats yet as I can't get near enough to either of them.

  Maisey is orange and very vocal when she's hungry. She also hisses and runs away if I get within five feet of her. Feeding her didn't ingratiate me with her either. Midnight is black and hides behind the refrigerator in the library. Yes, library. I managed to catch a glimpse of her by throwing treats in the gap between the fridge and freezer. Maybe she'll come out to watch us when we're playing pool. In the library. I'm sure they'll warm up to us... eventually.

  The house itself is bright and open and newly renovated -- chef kitchen, deluxe bathroom with multiple showers and a lot of windows overlooking the water. The view is so nice the owners didn't hang curtains anywhere, not even in the bedroom. It was cloudy and rainy this morning so no problem today but we face east-southeast and a clear sky will put sunrise right in our faces around 6:45 am. Can't wait.

  That's about the only thing we can take issue with here. It's a great spot, although fairly isolated -- the closest decent-sized grocery store is at least fifteen miles away. We do have kayaks, a bbq grill and a hot tub so I'm pretty sure we'll be happy just hanging out here and we're not far from Jamestown, the original European settlement, about an hour away. Let's see... hot tub overlooking the water, kayaking, checking out historically significant sites, decent golf nearby. This one's gonna be tough but I'm sure we'll persevere.

  Since we're so far from supplies I'll have to lay in a decent supply of alcohol so we don't run out. Gotta go. Later.