A Vacation Disguised as a House Sit

   Back on the road again, we are, although it's a relatively short jaunt compared to much of our travels. This week we've been in the delightful town of Hawkesbury, ON, located on the Ottawa River midway between Ottawa and Montreal.

  Although we're located in Ontario we are, quite literally, surrounded by French-speaking people. Across the river is Quebec. Twenty kilometers southeast along the road to Montreal is the Quebec border. Almost all the businesses here have signs in French. Street signs are bilingual with French always first. We could be in Quebec but we're not. Ontario seems to bend over backwards to demonstrate there are two official languages. And that, my friends, raises an interesting point.

  In Quebec, the provincial (or national, as they prefer) government has mandated all signs are to be in French only. English is verboten. If you want to speak to a government employee for any reason you must do so in French. Only. Foreign students wanting to study in Quebec must demonstrate proficiency in French. There are exceptions for indigenous people and new immigrants who have been there up to six months. For a country having two official languages this seems, not only draconian, but illegal.

  Of course, in order to get Quebec to sign onto the Constitution forty years ago the "notwithstanding" clause was added and that makes it all ok. Just not for us. We don't like feeling unwelcome in our own country, as we noted back when we traveled through Quebec to get to Nova Scotia, so we'll keep our tourist dollars to ourselves, thank you. And that's all I have to say about that.

  Our two charges here are Dhillon and Pippen, two very friendly cats. Pippen, in particular, wants our undivided attention whenever she's in the house but runs away when she's outside.

  Dhillon is more independent and is quite happy to reduce his contact with us to thirty or forty seconds per day. I'm sure he likes us but he very definitely doesn't need us.

  After we arrived and got settled we decided an afternoon round of golf would be a nice diversion so we took ourselves off to the local club de golf. It seemed like a nice spot. The staff we encountered were friendly, the fairways, tees and greens were in beautiful shape, the course layout was challenging and nice to look at, so off we went to smack the little ball around.

  Unfortunately, everything from the amateurish behaviour of the greenskeeping staff, to the slow play of the other golfers, to a bunch of turkeys pretending to play golf in front of us did nothing but generate frustration and, sometimes, anger.

  I wish I could have done more than just leave a scathing review on Google but one of our neighbours is sure the owners don't care what I think. When Penny told him where we had played he just shook his head and told us our experience was not unusual. Too bad. It was certainly a nice looking place.

  Later that day Jen, James and our two grandsons, Lucas and Ben, arrived. There's lots of space here so we organized this sit in order to accommodate them for a few days while they visit Ottawa. As a result, we've had a very busy time here. Since they arrived we've taken a tour of the Senate, visited the Canadian Museum of History, done a "ghost tour", visited the Canadian Aviation Museum and tried an escape room at the Diefenbunker. Yesterday, they went to  Montreal so Ben could say he ate poutine there. Because we've been there and done that we stayed home. Also, going to Montreal involves spending money in Quebec, but I already said all I have to say about that.

  Our visit to the Senate started on an odd note. I had taken a tour of it and the Parliamentary Library when I was here with my parents in the 1960's so I knew what to expect, except I didn't. As we approached Parliament Hill Jen insisted we cross the street as the tour she booked directed us away from where I thought we should go. It turns out extensive restoration of the Centre Block, where both the House of Commons and Senate are located, has been underway since 2019. As a result, both have been relocated to temporary quarters until completion, expected in another ten years.

  The Senate tour was aimed at foreign tourists so a lot of time was spent describing our system of government, followed by explanations on the import of this august body of wise politicos. Knowing this is a load of crap, I wanted to engage her on the subject of Senate reform since the Senate is simply a rubber stamp for whatever government is in power and serves only as a place where they can gift their unelected political cronies a cushy job and a government pension. I'm sure the nice tourists didn't want to hear me pontificate on things political so I kept my mouth shut. I did, however, enjoy ten mirthful minutes sharing funny faces with a three year-old while the guide was explaining the nothing that transpires in one of the committee rooms.

  On to the Museum of History, which used to be known as the Museum of Civilization.

  I have no idea why they changed the name, so don't ask. In any case, it's a comprehensive collection of all things uniquely Canadian that have contributed to our culture and civilization. Since I'm an old guy and learned about all this in Grade 4, it all seemed a bit old hat. The big takeaway for me was that a lot of what was considered "history" is shit I lived through. Yes. Old. Anyway, it's a beautiful building designed by Douglas Cardinal and the exhibits are carefully curated and thoroughly explained. It is a truly wonderful museum if you don't mind sauntering through thousands of square feet dedicated to all the stuff you learned about when you were ten. Trust me when I say your feet won't thank you for slogging through it.

  The end of the day delivered a reward for enduring tired feet, bored neurons and rubbery cheeks from making faces at a three year-old. We ended up at Zak's Diner in the ByWard Market, a family favourite. We've been going to this place to enjoy their delicious milkshakes and diner fare for around thirty years, so we had an obligation to return once more. 

  We ended our day with a "ghost tour" of the Beechwood Cemetery. Known as the "National Cemetery", Beechwood has been around since the 1870's and a couple of notables, Tommy Douglas, largely responsible for our system of socialized health care, and Sir Robert Borden, Prime Minister during World War I, are buried there. Our guide spent over an hour leading us around the burial ground, spinning tales of Brian the Poltergeist and Joe the crematorium guy's spiritual hijinks while we dodged raindrops from a passing thunderstorm. We couldn't have asked for a more funereal atmosphere as our small group hid beneath umbrellas in the dark. It was a bit like a scene from The Exorcist though no one's head spun around. We didn't witness any paranormal activity. Maybe they don't come out in the rain.

  Wednesday, we had planned to take Lucas kayaking on the downtown stretch of the Rideau Canal while Jen, James and Ben went off to the Royal Canadian Mint. Unfortunately, the day dawned cloudy, windy and cool; not ideal conditions to be out on the water. Penny and I stayed back while the rest hit the Mint and we joined up later at the Aviation Museum.

  If you've been following along the past fifteen months you'll remember we visited the US Air Force Museum in Dayton, OH at the very beginning of our travels. Although the Canadian version is a fraction of its size the content is well-presented and the staff are very knowledgeable. Lucas and I took the "backstage" tour and got to see what they have in the attic, which is actually another hangar next door. We saw a ton of fascinating craft in various stages of restoration or disassembly. Since I had taken snaps of some of the various Air Force One's in Dayton I felt obliged to include an early Canadian version, used by the first Trudeau, from the 1960's. It doesn't scream "world dominating power" like a giant 747 but there's a certain Canadian-ness about it; understated and functional. Y'know, nothing to see here, move along.

  Amongst many interesting artifacts in the museum are the only remaining sections of the ill-fated Avro Arrow project from the late 1950's. There is a wing, Iroquois engine and the complete nose section of RL-206, all very cool to see up close. As I thought all evidence of these impressive designs was destroyed I was very surprised to see this on display.

  With that chapter of our adventures completed we were slated to escape from the Diefenbunker in an hour. Unfortunately, the thirty-two minute trip Google predicted became ninety-six minutes due to people conducting physics experiments with their cars en route. Therefore, we were very late. The nice people there did allow us to try the escape room but, due to scheduling constraints, could only allow us forty-five minutes to complete it instead of an hour. We persevered.

  At this point it's incumbent upon me to offer some explanation for all this. First, for those of you not up to speed on escape rooms, let me try to describe it to you. A group of you and your friends/family, typically numbering 6-12, are locked in a room, or series of rooms, for an hour. During that time you are required to decipher codes and complete puzzles to gain access to keys and combinations that unlock doors and, if successful, allow you to escape. We've all been doing this for years and some of our group are quite accomplished. If you remember, we did one in Cyprus while Kate was visiting.

  The Diefenbunker is a giant underground complex constructed in the early 1960's while John Diefenbaker was Prime Minister, thus the nomenclature. It's actual name is Canadian Forces Station Carp, Carp being the name of the little town where it's located. The purpose of this facility was to provide a bomb shelter for the government located far enough from Ottawa to protect them in the event of a nuclear war. It's kind of a bookend to our nuclear missile silo visit in Arizona last summer.

  With the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991 and the subsequent end of the Cold War the site was decommissioned in 1994. It has since been repurposed as a Cold War museum and part of it is used by the escape room company.

  Without giving away any of the details for those who might have this experience on their to-do list I will heartily recommend it. We did not complete the task as we needed more time and people. There were only six of us and it seems designed for a larger group of eight to twelve. Otherwise, everything was well-designed and challenging, a 5/5 on all counts.

  With that crossed off our list Penny and I headed off for a terrific dinner at Aroma Meze, in downtown Ottawa. It was our forty-second anniversary and we celebrated it with great food and wine in a cozy spot. I'm not one for pix of food but who can resist food with flames?

  As I said earlier, Jen and her gang were off in Montreal yesterday sampling poutine and wandering the streets of the Old Port. Penny and I hung around home until sundown when we once again made our way to Ottawa to see the hot air balloons taking off for their evening flights from the Festival de Montgolfieres de Gatineau. It was a perfect evening, calm winds, clear sky and lots of balloons. It made us want to go up in one... again.

  That brings our week in Hawkesbury to a close. If you haven't spent time in the Ottawa area I heartily recommend it. There's lots to see, great restaurants and bars, beautiful scenery and the winters are wonderful with skating on the Rideau Canal, snowshoeing and skiing. We've been here many times and have always had a good time.

  Next week we'll be back house sitting for a couple near Newmarket, the first of three stays there between now and the end of October. Since we won't be touristing I'll be publishing an installment highlighting the best restaurants we've experienced over the past fifteen months, so look for that. In the meantime, we're looking forward to returning to a place where speaking English isn't a crime.

Cheers!